Would you be able to survive the Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse? Short answer: Not likely.
If there is one thing our generation thinks they know well, its Zombies, and how to kill them. Ask a millennial how to survive an earthquake or fire and they’ll probably look at you weird and say with an upward inflection, “you just gotta shoot it in the head…” But what if I told you that even with all that zombie training you thought you were doing when watching movies, TV or playing video games, that you’re likely doing it all wrong and will die a horrible zombie death?
Good news is that our good old buddies in Science and the Government (center for disease control) have provided five tips to help us common folk survive the approaching Zombie Apoc.
1. Killing Zombies is the last thing you want to do.
Alright stop right there, internet writer, if theres one thing I know about zombies is that they gotta die! You would be right, angry keyboard warrior, they do need to die, eventually, but not by bashing their heads in with baseball bats, even if you’re packing mad heat, killing zombies will put you at a greater risk of becoming a brain sandwich. Think about it this way, would you purposely walk into an ebola quarantine zone? Then why would you walk right into an area contaminated by a virus so dangerous that it’ll turn you into a mindless killing sack of rotting flesh? You wouldnt, and you shouldnt. Okay but what if I use my Zombie killing Sniper Rifle from a safe distance? Still not a good idea, at that point your basically ringing a bell saying “Hey! Zombies! Party at my place!” You might survive a bit longer, but eventually, they will make their way to you and you wont be able to escape.
2. Get the hell out of Dodge.
This one might be a no brainer(pun intended) but one of the most important things you need to do is run for the hills! Get out and far away from any large city. Which will assuredly be crawling with endless zombies and disease. No resources are worth it when they are being guarded day and night by the undead. The researchers at Cornell advise sparsely populated mountain areas like The Rockies to wait out the disease.
3. Stock up! Make a survival kit.
When it comes to surviving a zombie outbreak, one of the most important steps to take is to stock up on supplies. Your best bet is to create a survival kit that you can quickly grab on your way to the mountains. This kit should include some key items that most emergency kits should already have, in fact you can buy these kits on amazon, at your local camping store and even places like Walmart! But if you do put one together yourself, make sure it includes:
The US government recommends one gallon of water per person to last three days. If possible getting a water purifier would be ideal, there are many on the market, The Life Straw has gained some recent attention lately for being small, efficient and cheap.
Atleast three days worth of non perishable food, again this is most easily found at local camping stores.
-A Solar powered/hand crank radio/flashlight/cellphone charger.
there are many of these out there but I recommend the Red Cross ARCFRX3WXR all in one.
-First aid kit! No explanation needed.
to help filter contaminated air and plastic sheeting and duct tape to shelter in place.
-Moist Towelettes, garbage bags and plastic ties for personal sanitization.
-Local maps (since don’t rely on those GPS satellites to still be working when all hell breaks loose.)
A basic emergency phone although again, this likely wont work during the zombie apoc as well. But good to have just in case.
4. Buy a protective suit
Your favorite zombie killers on TV might be running around in leather jackets and jeans fighting zombies, but this is definitely not something the professionals over at the CDC or Cornell recommend, it’s advised to get yourself an Ebola styled suit, and if you can grab yourself a fancy face mask to go along with it, the better. You may not look as badass in the zombie wasteland but at least you’ll be alive long enough to enjoy it…Yes, to enjoy that breathtakingly beautiful apocalyptic dessert of death…
5. Wait it out.
If you’ve made it this far, congrats! You now have the awesome responsibility of rebuilding civilization, dont mess it up! But before you get to all that, you still gotta wait for the government to find a cure, or for the zombies to hopefully run out of humans to eat and slowly starve to death. According to the CDC a zombie outbreak would be like any other disease, which in time we would(hopefully) find a cure. Also since Zombies seem to only feed on other non zombies for sustenance, eventually they would run out of delicious human brains to eat and would just slowly die off from hunger, how long would this take? Well it depends, it could take weeks, months, hey maybe even years, either way just get your ass to those mountains, bunker down and prepare to be there for a while!
Stay alive and enjoy your stay in the Wasteland!