I honestly don’t know why I decided to watch this movie. Perhaps it was some masochistic desire to try and prove to myself that Adam Sandler is still capable of making a decent movie. I did not make any progress on that point and in fact only further cemented the fact that Adam Sandler only makes bad movies these days.

Pixles” is the definition of modern movie garbage, the type of trite bullshit that is churned out at an unprecedented rate in an attempt to make money, never to produce a story actually worth seeing. I was hoping for at best a decent movie that would be cheesy yet totally fun to watch. Despite my best hopes this movie proved to be anything but. Nearly every single joke is so predictable that by the time it actually lands it has been drained of any and all actual comedic effect. These are the jokes you have heard a thousand times before from every single other “comedy” that comes out nowadays. The acting is sub par at best. The best actors seemed to be phoning it in, knowing that their performance would have little bearing on how much this film grossed, while the rest where utter garbage. Actually, scratch that, there was one decent actor, whomever played the young version of “FireBlaster” (Peter Dinklage) actually did a pretty admirable job portaying the mannerisms of the adult Fireblaster

Perhaps I am a snob, perhaps my standards are too high, but I simply cant be entertained by the same regurgitated garbage over and over again. I am sure nobody is surprised by the fact that I think “Pixels” is nothing but trash but I guess I am using this as a platform to complain about the state of modern comedies and how a comedy doesn’t have to be funny anymore. A comedy need only be a bland vanilla mixture of jokes just sub-par enough to get maybe a chuckle out of you so that they make their money back and then some. God forbid they put a modicum of effort into the creation of a decent comedy, something that will be remembered or perhaps even worth seeing.

I don’t know, maybe I am expecting too much of the movie industry. But when I can list the things I like about a movie on one hand its a pretty sad state of affairs. Don’t watch “Pixels” unless you are looking for yet more fuel to throw onto the fire of Adam Sandler hate that has begun to burn in every one of our hearts.

2.5/10

Available on Xfinity on Demand